Invasion of the Pod People OR Why Lansinoh Does Not a Good Facial Make

There are many at home beauty treatments.  We used to think putting mayonnaise or peanut butter in our hair would make it silky smooth and super soft.  Instead I wound up with bangs that smelled like a tuna sandwich and were so greasy they laid limp on my forehead.  I also remember reading in an ancient library book that a toner made of vinegar, alcohol and distilled water would make my skin crystal clear.  I filled an old mason jar with that mess and religiously dipped a cotton ball in it every morning and evening to dab on my face.  What a crock.  And, who among us has not used lemon juice to become a super hot blond a la Three's Company?

Someone in my family did not get the memo that not all home beauty treatments were created equal. 

For example, you might think that Lansinoh, made of lanolin, would make a great moisturizer.  It is all natural, made from the fleece of sheep.  It is used for breastfeeding and is so gentle that you don't need to remove it before nursing.  Lanolin!  Wow, sounds like it would really make dry skin soft and supple. 

Let me tell you something.  Lansinoh is the consistency of petroleum jelly. Except about 100 times thicker and stickier. When I say sticky, what I mean is . . . you can wipe and wipe and that stuff is still going to leave a film of crap that is going no where.  If you are using a paper towel, you are going to have bits of paper towel left behind in the sticky trap that is Lansinoh.  Don't get me wrong, this is a great product for nursing moms.  I used the heck out of it. 

BUT, it is not a great product for a 3 year old to use as a facial . . .



Hello!  I just hatched!  I'm all glisteny like a baby horse!  What a nice surprise for mom at 11:00 pm!

If you know a great at home beauty treatment that removes lanolin from hair, please let me know.