Tell Me a Scary Story

Middle Child kept bugging the heck out of me and his brother the other day. 

Tell me a scary story!!  Tell me one!!  Now!

Want scary?  Go to your room.  You may never find your way out.  It's a mess. 

That didn't work.

Okay.  A scary story.  Here goes......

Me:  Once upon a time (because he insists all stories have to start in this manner) there was a little girl walking through the park.  She saw an old man asleep on a bench.  He had on worn pants and a dirty shirt, an old hat and a gold wrist watch.

Middle Child:  No! No! No!  Not that one!  That's too scary!! 

Me:  Okay.  Once upon a time there was a teenager driving down a road.  It was rainy and stormy.

Middle Child:  Was it dark?

Me:  Yes, it was dark.  He saw a beautiful girl all dressed up walking on the side of the road.  She was wearing a dress and---

Middle Child:  Wait! Wait!  Was she wearing a scarf?

Me:  What?  No.  No scarf.  Anyway, she looked sad and needed a ride so he picked her up.  They drove in silence.

Middle Child:  Why did she not talk?  How did he know where to drive?

Me:  Just wait.  You'll see.  So, they drove and drove.  Then he looked over.....and......she disappeared!  She was gone!

Middle Child:  (Slaps his hands over my mouth) NO!  Don't say it!  It's too scary!  Wait.  How did she disappear?

Me:  Just listen.  He drove home and went to bed.  The next day he told his friends the story.  They said 'That was a ghost!'  That's where Suzy died last year in a car crash!

Middle Child:  No no no!  Too scary.  Here's the scary story I want you to tell.  Once upon a time there was a Chinese man who liked cats.  He had a cat and traded eyebrows with him.  Then they traded eyes.  And they also traded hair and everything.  (Please imagine dramatic hand and arm motions during this part) The end.

True story!  Hope you weren't too scared.  Make sure you tell this at campfires this summer.  And, you're welcome!