My Attempt at Watching a Meteor Shower (Or, How I Almost Got Attacked by a Deer)

I have never seen a meteor shower.  So, when I heard you could see the Perseid Meteor Shower last night, I thought "Hey, I'll just go outside and check that out!"

Easy enough.

Unfortunately, I am not a patient person.  You would think I am, considering I have three kids.  I guess I am pretty patient with them, but I like to get things done fast.  And, nature is not always fast.

I went outside and stood a while.  I walked across the grass to the middle of the yard so I could get a full view.  Nothing.  I went back inside.  See?  I told you I wasn't patient.

I waited until the peak time and went back outside with my pillow and laid on our sidewalk leading up to the porch.  I was hoping no neighbors would see me and call 911 because they mistakenly thought I had passed out.....on my pillow......on the sidewalk. 

I laid there for a while.  I was thinking this is a great time to calm myself.  I can think about life.  I can relax and gaze at the heavens.  Where were those damn meteors anyway?  It's just the end of summer and why is it so cold out here?  I could start to feel the coldness of the concrete on my back.  The more I looked at the sky, the more it looked like a dome.....and I felt like Jim Carey in The Truman Show. 

Then I heard a steady clomp, clomp, clomp noise like a horse.  I thought it was one of our teenage neighbors coming home from a party.....wouldn't that have been a fun encounter?  Why is that crazy mom sleeping on the sidewalk?  Anyway, it was a deer.  A BIG deer.  Clomping slowly down my street. 

Do deer attack?  I am not sure.  I sat up real quick thinking I could startle it.  This worked because she headed in the other direction.  I laid back down for a while. 

Waiting, waiting, waiting.  A couple of the stars were extra twinkly, but no meteors.

Then I heard a loud CLICK at my front door.  I was being locked out!  Hold the boat there buddy....I ran up the steps and knocked on the door.  My husband answered all blurry-eyed "What are you doing??" 

He had no idea I was out there.  It was 1:00 in the morning.  He was a little curious.

What am I doing?  Getting back from a date!  Checking the mail!  Do not lock me out!  I told him I was watching a meteor shower and he went back to bed.  He'll never remember a thing about that conversation. I can guarantee it.

Before heading back out to my spot, I grab a blanket.  I laid back down.  Waiting.  I hear the deer again.  This time she is running around a little and I keep hearing loud, heavy, steady snorting.  She sounds like she is gearing up for something.....like a bull does before they run at the matador.  Holy crap, is this deer going to attack me?  I laid very still thinking I should just wait it out. 

Then she gets louder and more crazy sounding and I decide I can live without seeing a meteor shower.

Maybe I will try again tonight....after I spray a barrier of hot sauce around my lawn.  I hear deer do not like hot sauce.