Three Kids and a Funeral

A few weeks ago we went to a funeral.  Just me and the kids.  All three of them.  Some of you are gasping, so let me explain that it was the service, not the viewing.  I explained to them that it was going to be like a church service, but more serious and sad.  They were okay with that. 

I also drilled into their little brains that it was going to be super quiet compared to our church services.  We are Lutheran and this was a Catholic service.  We have carpet in our sanctuary, which makes the noise quiet by default, and we go to the contemporary service with guitars.  Soooooo, when my kids are a little 'loud' you can't always hear them.  When you are in a church with tile floors and a high ceiling, the sound carries.....a lot.

It all started out good.  I was prepared.  I had a purse full of suckers and sticky candy....to keep their little jaws working as much as possible.  I had paper and crayons.  I had handcuffs and duct tape.  Kidding.  Actually, overall it wasn't so bad.  But, an hour and 15 minutes of being on your toes with three kids in a wooden pew is tough. 

To my left, the Second Grader was excellent.  I cannot stress this enough.  He followed along with the service.  He sang.  He listened.  He was solemn and quiet. 

Then there was the show going on to the right of me.  I heard a "slide, slide, slap....slide, slide, slap".  That would be Middle Child doing the back stroke the length of the pew and back.  At least he listens to me at the pool when I scream "Big arms!!  Use windmill arms!!"  He just needs to apply that skill while he's in the water instead of when he is paying his last respects. 

Of course, this looks like so much fun that Baby Girl wants in on the action.  Quickly, I stuff a Tootsie Roll in her mouth.  This redirects Middle Child's attention and he wants one.  Luckily, I am well-stocked.  Or so I thought. 

We colored for a bit.  Until Baby Girl loudly announced every item we were drawing, as well as her personal requests.  I drew a house, a girl, a triangle, all three kids, some flowers and a dog.

Suddenly, I heard a baby quietly cry.  It was not loud.  But, the surrounding sounds of bags moving, arms fluttering, butts scooting and mouths shhhh'ing was loud.  Then I realized that my kids were probably not as loud as I imagined them to be.  I was probably  louder than them.  Lesson learned.  Relax.

Tomorrow night we have a wedding for the same family.  We will all five be going this time.  The reception will be loud and fun.  We will dance and act crazy.  My kids should fit in perfect!

Don't be fooled by these sweet smiles